WHY CLOUDS?

I spent most of my adult life as an art educator working at the university, college, secondary and elementary levels. My classrooms were typically my studios as I worked alongside my students, creating my own paintings for exhibitions, installations, illustrations, commissions, and the self-portrait challenges I issued almost daily to my advanced students. As my university professor positions required academic research and publishing, my creations were made with words and text in articles, books and paintings. For example, my series of graphite drawings “Living Childless in a Child-full world” was published in Canada.

Teaching at Virginia Commonwealth University was the highlight of my career. It was cut short, however when my husband of 34 years became ill. We moved to Greer, SC to be closer to family. Within less than a year, we had a diagnosis that his life would end in a matter of months. During the summer of 2018 I spent my days looking down as I jumped out of bed to attend to his needs and prepared countless meals that were scraped three times a day into the trash. I watched as my strong, handsome husband became smaller and smaller and even more confused. I searched for keys, broken bits of chains, coins, and all sorts of things he determined were needed. Always looking down, but he couldn’t be left alone. I was fortunate to have his daughter and friends come over on occasion. They were a blessing to him and me. Yet, we wanted to spare them of the memories that they couldn’t unsee for many years to come. For the most part, I was there with him. It was a gift, I know. A blessing for sure. However, my continual life of looking down was causing more than a mere hump in my back. It is hard to describe, but I felt like I was falling every single day. . . .deeper and deeper and I had no control over his life or mine. The only place I felt comfortable going was on the front porch where I could see the gorgeous blue sky of South Carolina summers and still keep a watchful eye and ear out.

I like most people, have always loved looking at clouds and finding puppies, faces, acrobats and the like in their formations. This time I decided to study the clouds for what they are- water droplets and ice crystals as I began painting. I started with smaller studies as I could hold them in my lap. The kitchen became cluttered with 11 x 14” cumulus, nimbus, stratus, cirrus and their combinations. Paint hardened quickly when absentmindedly or due to other reasons they were left out on the porch. The paintings were not precious. Nothing was. . . . except for him. The cloud paintings were simply a means of looking up, playing around and being in control of something.

I have continued exploring and recreating clouds these past years since my husband passed away in 2018. The paintings are comforting and frightening. They ground me and they somehow let me fly. I am constantly staring and exclaiming over their color and excitement. I take tons of photographs of clouds and all my friends send their photos to me, as well. I joined the International Cloud Society. I continually study and imagine the magic people must have felt when hearing the 1801 presentations by the namer of the clouds Luke Howard. And yes, I must admit that I have secret dreams of being a meteorologist.

The primary impetus for this series of paintings was to find my way through the pain involved in caregiving, grieving, loss, the ongoing ache of survivor’s guilt and ultimately finding hope.

In 2022, I began to realize that by holding onto the cloud paintings, I was in essence holding on to my grief. My life is changing. I look for happiness and joy. And I typically find it. Therefore, I am now ready to share, sell, and maybe even talk about the works. Take a look at my sales page:

www.pgtaylorcloudpaintings.com